Those Darn Trolls
My niece Lexi, age 4, visited last night. She wanted to go down to the basement. I said it wasn’t a good idea. I finally had to tell her about our trolls. Those damn things keep causing problems and now the secret is out.
Yeah, they just live here in the winter. They shovel coal into the furnace during the winter. When the weather warms they return to their natural haunts.
You’ve seen them. You know them. The PC people have changed their names and their businesses. I didn’t want to tell her about this but it was about time she knew what was going on.
From ancient times the trolls collected a fee when you wanted to cross their bridges or use their roadways. No longer are those fees called trolls (after their takers) but tolls. That’s right tolls. You know those toll takers. They make you pay and the fees keep going up. Probably the worst of the bunch is an Irish troll. The people of Maryland know him as O’Malley. Poor little Lexi doesn’t understand this stuff but I did my best to explain.
I told her O’Malley was a troll. One that fooled the people and became the governor of Maryland. And kids, guess what he did! You got it, he raised those tolls, higher and higher. High enough that he could hire and executive chef at the governor’s mansion.
But Lexi didn’t really understand. She asked their names. I had to tell her. The father is Petra, mom is Lestra, kids are kennestra, Malestra, the baby is Babbetra and of course there is Jimmy.
Her mom said they have EZ-Pass and don’t have to visit the T(r)oll booths. But even mom didn’t understand the cleverness of these wicked trolls. EZ-Pass is a wizardry tool the trolls use to suck the money out of your pocket without you knowing. Oh, those darn pick-pocket trolls.
Lexi now understands these wicked little devils are all connected to a much larger and ominous organization, the Democratic party. She called them all sick bastards and I had to agree. How wise these 4-year olds are.
Lexi wanted to visit with them but I told her they were in Tampa at the Superbowl. See I know their secret. I know where they are, I know the damage they do and now they have taken over Washington.
Poor little Lexi doesn’t really get it. I’ll help her. She’ll be OK. We’ll be OK. Put out your traps, tie them up and keep them in your basement. They’ll be gone in four years. It is just a matter of time.
Be on the lookout for those little bastards. I will be.
Sleep well little Lexi, their natural enemy is on their way. They stampede will come. All will be well. The elephants are coming. Sleep well little Lexi. We love you.
